Mar 216 min read

What Then is My Reward?

For the longest time I wouldn’t let my mom redo my childhood bedroom. I loved that room. It was bright blue with a basketball painted on one wall and a chalkboard painted on the other. So, when I came home last summer, I was crushed to see that it had been redone. My basketball and chalkboard wall were covered up and the bright blue was replaced with grey. Even the orange and blue dresser that I had painted myself was now covered up and repainted black. On top of all that the awards and trophies that I had accumulated over the years were now all packed up and put downstairs.

The same trophy that I got in the fourth grade for winning a softball tournament, the really big one I got in middle school for making a bunch of free throws, and the one I got in college for being an All-American were now all in the same spot - in a box collecting dust.

For the longest time I thought those awards were everything though. I was always after that high. I was always searching for the next game to win or award to shoot for.

In college I really wanted to break the school’s scoring record. Eventually I did, but afterwards I remember being disappointed. What I did was special, but in my head, I had made it into something bigger than it really was. I thought breaking the scoring record was going to fix all my problems. But waking up the next day I realized that nothing had changed except for my name being at the top of a list.

For the longest time those were the types of things I chased. I went after Earthly crowns. And I got a lot of them too. But where are they now? In a box collecting dust.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 9:25, “All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.”

This was me. I put everything I had into prizes that I thought would fulfill me not realizing what truly would.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to tell you that losing doesn’t suck because it does.

Just recently I helped coach a team who fell a little short of winning a championship. And guess what? It was a little disappointing. When you work really hard for something, but in the end fall short, it should hurt.

So instead, what I am here to tell you is this: a win or a loss does not have to define you.

I felt for those girls after they lost. My heart hurt for them because it wasn’t that long ago that I was sitting in a locker room with tears rolling down my cheeks feeling absolutely crushed. If you have ever been in that position, then you know there are no words to say in that moment that can make the sting go away.

Even the next day at shoot around I still didn’t know what words to say so I just said, “You know, I never won a state championship either.” In response one of the girls looked at me and said, “And you're still alive.” I’m not sure if she was asking or just making a statement, but I chuckled and said, “Yeah I am.”

I am still alive! However, I’m certain my younger self would not have believed that to be possible. The me who sat in the locker room and cried those same tears was just like her. I truly thought that the sun would not rise the next morning.

What’s even crazier is that I always thought winning would somehow cause the sun to rise and be a little brighter the next morning.

But thank God that’s not true because of who the Son is. (Pun definitely intended.)

Win or lose the sun, to my surprise, always looked exactly the same.

That’s because at the end of the day a win or loss doesn’t change who you are.

Only Jesus can do that.

This is exactly what Paul is trying to tell us.

“All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.”

Jesus is the eternal prize we should be after. If you only go after Earthly prizes (trophies, awards, records, recognitions, promotions) you will never be truly fulfilled. If you believe that your identity rests in those things alone then you will always be let down.

Even in winning.

Yes, you’ll be let down even after winning the championships.

My boyfriend plays football for a team that has won back-to-back national championships. Not just a state championship, but a national championship. Not just one year, but two years. That’s something a lot of people can only dream of, but I’ll never forget what he said to me the night after winning their first national championship. He said, “I thought it would feel like more.”

He should have been on top of the world and yet he looked almost sad.

I remember feeling like that too. Coming home after breaking the scoring record I remember thinking the same thing. I remember thinking that it should feel like more.

Like me, he had put winning on a pedestal. He thought winning would make him truly happy, but after the excitement had died down, the pictures were posted, and everyone went home, he realized that winning was not the answer.

A video of Tom Brady saying something similar showed up on my social media the other day. It was from an interview in 2005 where he was asked about all of his success on and off the field. Surprisingly, Brady did not talk about how happy he was despite the fact that he had already won three Super Bowls. Instead, Brady said this:

“Why do I have three Super Bowl rings, and still think there’s something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, 'Hey man, this is what it is.' I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think: God, it’s got to be more than this. I mean this can’t be what it's all cracked up to be. I mean I have done it. I’m 27. And what else is there for me?”

His last line hit home. “And what else is there for me?”

I’m no Tom Brady, but I remember asking myself this same question.

It’s the same question my boyfriend was left asking himself too.

Like a lot of us, I thought the answer was more trophies, the next award, and all the bright shiny things that this world has to offer.

But Paul knew there was something else and something more out there.

A few verses earlier in chapter nine he asks, “What then is my reward?” (1 Corinthians 9:18)

This is the question he is answering for us!

Another version of what Paul says is written this way: “And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.”

Paul is referring to an actual crown that athletes won. Back in his day there were games known as the Isthmian games, which were held in Corinth every year. They were a pretty big deal. A slightly smaller version of the Olympics, but unlike a gold medal, these athletes got a crown made out of vegetation. Which meant that eventually their reward would decay. Their prize really was temperate.

Just like all my trophies sitting in a box collecting dust.

Just like the feeling I got after breaking the scoring record.

Just like the feeling my boyfriend got after winning a championship.

Just like all the Super Bowls that Tom Brady won.

They are all just temperate things. They don’t fulfill you.

But Jesus can!

Only through believing in Jesus can you receive an imperishable crown. Only through Jesus can you be truly fulfilled. When you know that a life with Jesus is the true reward than you are set free from wondering what else and what more.